Have you ever heard of diabetes burnout? Neither did I. So here is my story and how I came about knowing what diabetes burnout was exactly.
It has been a few months since writing a blog and that was for a number of reasons. The main reason, however, was that I had completely BURNT OUT! For a few months I had been struggling with my sugar control. For the life of me I just could not get my sugar levels to cooperate with me. It felt like every day I woke up just to fight a war I already knew I was going to lose. It felt as though my body had just stopped fighting WITH me and started fighting AGAINST me like I was its enemy. This, understandably, sent me on a roller coaster ride where emotions overwhelmed me. I tried everything I could possibly think of to try and get my sugar to just stay stable. I was so desperate some days that I even stopped eating. Yes, I starved myself, and thinking back on that today, I realize how senseless that was. I changed my basils too because I couldn’t wait for the next appointment with my endocrinologist. Still… Nothing worked. So, I gave up in a way. I stopped testing as often as I should. I ate what I wanted to, or didn’t eat at all. I simply just stopped caring! Because at that point, my average was already double digits and I had already done everything I could do, with nothing seeming to help, so in my mind I just did not see the point. I was tired.
But then, something happened, and in my next blog I will explain it in detail. To put it short though, I was basically forced to go see my endocrinologist about 2 months sooner than I was supposed to. This was so that she could do pump and glucometer downloads, my HbA1c and weight etc. You know, all those things they check for when you go for your visit. My endocrinologist changed basils and a few other settings and now, a week later, I;m sitting on a weekly sugar level average of 7.7! It hasn’t been that perfect for who knows how long. When I saw this I was beyond excited. You’d swear I was a little girl who’d just found out she’s getting a real unicorn!
So, burnout. Basically, I had tried so hard every day just to get my sugar levels to be stable and at a normal level but, instead, I was given very high high’s and then very low low’s. It was a constant yo-yo. That can be exhausting! Every diabetic knows what it’s like to go through times where your sugar levels seem to be playing games with you. IT IS EXHAUSTING! And that’s to say the least. I had reached a point where I just really gave up. Did that help, absolutely not, and I don;t recommend anyone just giving up either! But, that was my burnout!
Something that motivated me to start blogging again was, firstly, seeing my sugar levels remain in my target range. The second thing that motivated me was an app, called Beyond Type 1. It is absolutely amazing! There are so many topics on diabetes where you’re able to read about other diabetics’ struggles and achievements. You’re also able to read other diabetics’ advice and also get support from people all around the world! Sometimes, it’s so comforting just knowing you’re not alone, knowing that there are hundreds and thousands of diabetics going through similar struggles and pains. It is also very encouraging and uplifting reading about how things DO get better eventually.
It’s hard… Diabetes is H A R D ! – with a capital H, capital A, capital R and capital D. Sometimes, you will burnout. You will grow tired and be so exhausted, to a point where you feel as though your only option left is to give up.
DON’T GIVE UP! You need to remember that you are NOT alone. There are hundreds of thousands of diabetics all around the world. There are support groups, chat forums, social media support pages, doctors, psychologists, family and friends. Don’t go through it alone like I did. Reach out to someone. Ask for help!
You can do this. Whatever it is you’re struggling with, you don’t have to struggle with it alone. So please don’t.